The Art of Becoming a Father

“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices, call him father”

With Mother's Day around the corner, everywhere you look there will be promotions to celebrate all mothers. Yes indeed one must celebrate their mothers and motherhood, but has anyone given thought to the fathers out there? Parenting is a very daunting task indeed, of course as babies are born and new parents are unveiled, everyone's first thoughts are with the mother. To her it has been a physical and emotional roller coaster ride and now she is faced with the all encompassing task of looking after a newborn baby.

But one must not forget that there are in fact two individuals in the new parent duo, do not overlook the proud father. It is indeed a strange predicament the new father finds themselves in, yes they have been waiting in anticipation during the pregnancy, not really being able to feel the nausea, growth pains, stretch marks, silent baby kicks, the absurd cravings, but they have indeed been troopers supporting their pregnant wives throughout this conundrum of feelings, in fact they too might have gained a few pounds just to show their support! But babies change father's lives as well, they might not be readily equipped in the early stages to deal with the babies demands, but rather than feel left out they should be encouraged and recognized rather than be the “Just” Dads in the situation. Here are are some pointers for all new dads to help deal with their change of status:

 - New Dads might feel very helpless during the first few months, with relatives helping, the father might not be the first source of help when the new mother needs a break. But you can change that, don't be afraid if the baby cries a lot when you hold them, you can change that, try skin to skin contact, let baby lie on your chest, allow them to get to know you and become familiar with you. Babies might seem small and fragile in your hands, but they are sturdy creatures and very soon you will become a pro at holding them.

- In some countries paternity leave is given to new fathers, if you are allowed that privilege use that time to become a part of your new family. Become converse with the baby's routine, it doesn't compromise your manliness with getting your hands dirty in changing diapers, washing vomit cloths, in fact it makes you a key player in looking after your baby, a privilege you have indeed been blessed with, and an opportunity you will never get again, with this child.

- When your wife is taking a break or a quick nap, spend that time with your baby, talk to them, play with them, babies listen to sounds and their awakening eyes catch movement, you a can start being the FUN parent now itself!

- As women we have nine months during our pregnancies to prepare ourselves mentally for this life changer, for fathers it gets a bit tricky but once baby is born allow yourself to welcome this life change, you are a father for life, not just a good provider but a future friend and confident, let this baby into your life and heart.

- Have loads of patience, the incessant crying and nights of broken sleep eventually get the better of anyone, have patience, take a break if you have to, maybe get sleep at night so you can help out later during the day. Don't let this become tedious and one you'd rather escape from, because you will regret missing these wondrous times, for that is what they are.

- Babies make parents out of any individual. Being a dad doesn't only mean being the financial provider, fatherhood has many more depths to this relationship. Start building on that now, this magical bond will be your greatest accomplishment in life. Happy parenting!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe