When I was growing up I always knew that when I was a mother I would have lots of children, it was one of my certain goals in life like going to University and having my first job. Luckily for me I met my wonderful husband who was instrumental in making one of my biggest dreams come true and now my heart bursts with pride as I look at my three beautiful children.

In my opinion I think it is very important for a child growing up to have a sibling. Having that other person or persons in your family living the same childhood as you, plays as an important role in creating the individual you grow up to be. Your siblings act as your agents of socialization and develop your ‘character’ self. You learn to play, interact and be a part of a group. All these characteristics are very important life skills that help conform us into wholesome adults. They are the keepers of your secrets and never fail to share a giggle with you, despite how ludicrous the joke is.

In modern societies many couples have opted to have one child and either due to work commitments or other circumstances their families have stopped there. I really do feel for my children’s ‘only’ child friends who rather than play with the latest modern technology that their parents have bought for them opt to come to our house and run around a tree and play a simple game of catch. No amount of expensive toys or gadgets is going to replace the friendship and companionship that a sibling will provide.

For parents, raising several children is easier said than done. We take on a lot of responsibility from the financial as well as emotional aspects and pray to the heavens that our children will grow up to be happy honorable citizens. It is hard work and not for the faint hearted. Being a mother of three children I can only say ‘hand on heart’ that it gets easier. Yes, I agree with you we rarely have moments of peace in the house or my husband and I are always sorting out the recurring issue of who had IT first etc..BUT at the end of the day I find that my kids look after each other.

For example my older daughter is quite capable of getting my younger daughter washed and ready for bed or my son will quite happily feed his younger sister if he finishes his meal first, this is done under my supervision of course, but I find as they get older they are capable of extra responsibility. This is another important factor to consider for when amongst siblings, whatever said and done they will look after you, be it to fight that bully at school or help with childcare when you are older, you can always rely on your brothers and sisters.
 Logistically sometimes it makes sense to have one child, childcare is easier, financially we are all better off since all the best resources that you can buy can be given to that one child.

But at the end of the day, material objects, in my opinion, can never replace the inextinguishable bond that you have with your sibling. You might not talk everyday or only see each other once a year but once your parents are gone they alone serve as the only tie you have to the first family that you were born into and what created you.

So a word of advice to all newly married couples out there, don’t be too severe on your family planning schemes, be flexible and open. Don’t delay because it’s not the right time in your career or education, eventually your job will come to an end and you will be just another statistic, but your children and the family that you created will live on forever. Make your decisions wisely, you only get one shot in this parenting life!

By Mayuri Jayasinghe