Yes I can safely say that my husband and I have given up our lives just to please our three year old. My husband will sleep on the edge of the bed with all arms and legs dangling out just so our three year old can sleep in a star shaped position between us.

My older children will give her endless piggy back rides and no matter what I do I am sure to have endless supplies of sweets, to feed the beast that manifests my three year old at necessary moments. If we were to fail in any of these requests, the consequences would be grave, the endless hours of screaming, shouting and wailing is equivalent to any torture tactic adopted at gautanomo bay. You say I exaggerate, am spoiling the child, but unless you have faced the temper tantrum that ensues....and survived you have no basis for argument.

It is a common fact that the terrible twos are usually the harder years but I feel that the threes offer a new set of parental challenges that will have us running for cover. At the age of two the toddler is just learning about his or her independence, getting used to the language and starting the communication process. While at three, the toddler becomes more equipped in language, decision making power and temperamental mood swings. For example my three year old will spend a good half an hour screaming her head off because her nanny wants to help her out of the bath and she doesn’t want her too.

The demands are unreasonable and spontaneous leaving us parents in a dizzy spell. Rather than spend endless hours listening to the wailing I am guilty of giving in, give her want she wants I scream and then ensues the peace and quiet. But parents this is not always the right thing to do, no one ever said parenting was a piece of cake.

Forget timeouts and naughty benches. These do not work most of the time and especially with unreasonable three year olds. Fight fire with fire, if they want a drink they have to calm down. If she wants her dolly she has to stop screaming. By taking away their favorite things away this will get their attention.

Many a time I have shouted ‘I am the mum, I am the boss’ but unfortunately pulling a power trip might not always work. Instead your three year old will only mimic your behavior and then ensues the power struggles. Put that parenting tactic aside for later years.

However hard to it is stay firm in your decisions, even though the screaming is reaching a crescendo pitch, do not give in. Stop yourself from yelling or screaming, walk away from the situation if you can, for when you are not paying their bad behavior any attention, they will usually stop and take notice.

Reward your child for good behavior. Children love to please and if you find them sharing their toys or doing something when you ask them to do it, over do the praise and compliments. This motivates them to be obedient for they learn that when they do good, they will be rewarded.

Despite the terrible tantrums and instances of behavioral madness, in their good moments three year olds are joyously fun to be with. With their silly stories and endearing songs of ‘I love you, you love me’ sung in their little high pitched voices they make your hearts melt with love.
 

By  Mayuri Jayasinghe