Dear New Mum-to-be,

This letter I write with gladness in my heart and joy in my spirit for you because of the amazing journey of motherhood that awaits you. It is not an easy journey that you embark on, it will be fraught with physical as well as mental ailments but the reciprocal love and incomparable closeness that you share with your child is supreme to any such feeling that you will ever experience and you are truly blessed to be allowed this chance and opportunity. Enjoy it to the fullest.

Like all journeys in life this also is not a piece of cake and there are certain essentials that you must keep in mind to emerge unscathed and with your sanity intact from this expedition.

Unless you have a team of plastic surgeons in your back pocket your post baby body will never be the same. If there were wobbly bits before there will be more wobbly bits this time around. Do not fret, consider these your victorious war wounds of life. You have faced the challenges and come out strong with a beautiful baby in tow.

Just remember once the initial happy commotion of welcoming the baby is over. Friends and relatives will go back to their everyday lives and it will be you and your husband holding the baby, well mostly you. Do not panic, you are strong in mind and spirit and do not let this tiny person wear you down. He or she is depending on you for love and safety and as mothers that is what we do best.

Avoid showing every friend that visits the thousands of pictures you have taken of your baby on a blanket. This is a sure fire way to alienate people. Yes they share your joy but have a perspective on bombarding them with pictures and birth videos. Of course take the pictures, make the videos, take as many as you can for your little bundles of joy will grow up faster than you would like and your will treasure the ‘blanket pictures’ in years to come.

Do not stress if the housework starts to lag behind. You are not perfect and your baby needs more attention than the house at the moment. If possible get help, rope in friends and relatives to help with a few chores. As long as you and you husband have clean clothes you are doing great.

On important fact to remember on this journey is that you don’t get to eat or sleep. This little bundle that you created will be highly demanding. Forget slow cooked candle lit dinners with your husband, those are a thing of the past and you will only probably ever see again in the next twenty years once the bundle of joy has moved out. Sleep will become a sinful pleasure for you. Nap when the baby naps, forget housework forget life, when baby is napping use that time to recoup and reenergize for the nights will be dark, long and lonely.

If you thought your husband had selective hearing before, it will probably go up a notch more during the nighttime. But do not take this personally, this is a new adventure for them as well. They will try to help out as much as possible, give them tasks you know they can do. Otherwise you will start to resent them and then things can get ugly. Very ugly.

You will have ‘break down moments’ where after spending a whole day in pajamas and two hours of sleep, you wonder why you did this, what made you give up your exciting ‘motherless’ life and say ‘YES’ to this. You just want to go back to your desk job. Then you will be racked with guilt for thinking such thoughts. We all have those moments, they are there to test us, you can either wallow in them or live for the moment and engulf yourself in baby sweetness and consider your excellence in creating this soft, milk smelling bundle of perfection.

NEVER compare your baby with another baby. However tempting it is do not go down that road your baby is unique and will do things in his or her own time. Relax.

So mothers to be, these are some wise guidelines from a mother who has gone on this journey several times. In those quiet dawn breaking moments when the sounds of the breaking day is upon you, and everything is still around the house and you hold your sleeping baby in your arms and he or she gives that perfect smile of contentment, that is the true meaning of life.

Happy Motherhood!

(Article by Mayuri Jayasinghe)