(Lets face it kids are full of honesty, they say it as they see it. This is a new column written from the ‘HONEST’ observations from our children. It touches on all aspects of the process of growing up and how we as parents can improve ourselves from a child’s point of view).

 

 

The Beginning – The Womb

 

 

 

Not sure how I got here but suddenly there I was floating in warm comforting waters. Temperature great, comfort not too bad in the first few months and I seemed to have an endless supply of food. Who can complain about this residential situation? I seemed to be carried by a host, whose high pitched voice could be heard a lot. Although she did not sound threatening, a bit complainy and quite sedentary with not much going on in her life, other than carrying me around. But it seemed I was stuck with her so better make best of the situation. 

 

The only other voice I heard was a male voice; he seemed to agree with everything my host female said to him. I think he was her indentured servant or unpaid employee or Spartan 

slave for he would quietly give her all the pillows in their bed and best of the bed so that she was comfortable, get up at all hours of the night to get her cups of water and make tedious runs all the way from Bambalapitiya to Mount Lavinia, in high traffic, so that she could have her special noodles from Loon Tao. His spirit seemed broken, towards the end all I heard was mumblings from him.

 

A word of wisdom to my host not a good idea to indulge in highly caffeinated fizzy drinks, just because it’s a hot day and the cricket is on. I was up for six hours dancing ‘Gangnam style’ after that episode, don’t think she enjoyed it either. Also less spicy food, the better for all don’t you think, that heartburn is a killer, having a ball of fire going up and down your esophagus, did not put my host in a good mood, and left me mildly irritated.

 

The days where I feel serene and calm are the ones where my host has demonstrated good ‘womb service’ and eaten lovely healthy meals full of vegetables and nutritious food. So get with the program hostie, and do what’s right by me!

 

Also best if you are the host to stay put with your feet up as much as possible. Doing a marathon baby shopping run is not advisable, since I feel like a trapped passenger at one of the rides at Vihara Maha Devi Park, being bounced along and I couldn’t even get off. 

 

The end was sudden. To be honest after gaining seven pounds in body weight, my space was getting a bit tight, not pleasant hanging around with your knees up near your head, did try a few ninja moves, jujutsu takedowns, Beckham kicks though my host cried out in alarm, so had to put a stop to that.

 

Then suddenly one day, after overdosing on Loon Tao noodles, the heavens opened up, gloved hand reached down and grabbed me, tried to squirm, tight grip, cold latex gloves, I did not like. Did what I felt was naturally right, opened my mouth and gave a big bellow.

 

 

Holiday over, checked out, and here begins my LIFE.

 

 

 

 

 

By Mayuri Jayasinghe