Left Behind

Big Sister and I sit by the big French windows, looking on in great misery at our departing parents. Did they just hop, skip and jump into the car? Was Mum just laughing hysterically at something Dad said? Mum never laughs, usually she’s always got that “I mean business face on”. Anyway our parents are leaving us, at home, to celebrate something called a wedding anniversary. Apparently it’s the day that it all started..whatever..so why can’t they spend it with us. I mean c’mon we’re the whole reason for their existence aren’t we. Cutey little big sister and I. They kept muttering about going out for a romantic dinner for two, no crying babies or fuzzy toddlers - just the two of us. Whatever Mother dearest, five minutes into the dinner you’ll have nothing to talk about but us! HA!, then we’ll see who's sorry now.

Big Sister’s bottom lip trembles querulously as the car drives off. Okay she’s going to erupt any minute I think, must stay strong for the both us. I swallow down a sob and distract her with her Dora doll. Great the lip’s going back into place and she seems distracted for now, just the rest of the evening to go. The audacity of those parents, leaving us alone like this, well not really alone I guess. None of the grandparents could babysit, so Mum’s got one of her friends to stay with us. Not too sure about this, Auntie looked all fun and harmless when Mum was around. As she approaches us with a big grin on her face, I take a step back, were those teeth really that pointed and those are those slits in her face her eyes? “Oh what big teeth you have Auntie”..did she just say all the better to eat you with!!???!!

Oh wait she actually said "Do you little ones want something to eat?". Wow in this moment of panic, the mind’s playing games on me. Big Sister can’t hold it in anymore, the bawling starts..what a wuzz I tell you. I feel kinda teary as well, what if the parents are in an accident and we never see them again, that “Just Dads”, kinda grown on me! I join in the bawling, between the two of us, we sound like a pair of wailing cats. Auntie looks awfully worried, she hesitates for a moment and reaches for her mobile..YES YES, the crying’s working, call the deviant parents back Auntie.

She stops and decides to take control of the situation, blast Mum for having such dependable friends. So before Big Sister and I could reach another screech level, she has my diaper changed, milk bottle in the mouth, in front of the T.V, Big Sister's got her favorite blanky and is dozing off. Hey what just happened there, I feel all comy and cosy and it's Barney, my favorite dinosaur on! YAY!...” Your Parents will be home soon, children.” Auntie goes…Parents?..who are they?

What is separation anxiety?

It's natural for your young child to feel anxious when you say goodbye. Although it can be difficult, separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. In early childhood, crying, tantrums, or clinginess are healthy reactions to separation. Separation anxiety can begin before a child’s first birthday, and may pop up again or last until a child is four years old, but both the intensity level and timing of separation anxiety vary tremendously from child to child. A little worry over leaving mom or dad is normal, even when your child is older. You can ease your child’s separation anxiety by staying patient and consistent, and by gently but firmly setting limits.

How to overcome separation anxiety?

For children with normal separation anxiety, there are steps you can take to make the process of separation anxiety easier.

Practice separation. Leave your child with a caregiver for brief periods and short distances at first.

Schedule separations after naps or feedings. Babies are more susceptible to separation anxiety when they’re tired or hungry.

Develop a “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a goodbye kiss.

Keep familiar surroundings when possible and make new surroundings familiar. Have the sitter come to your house. When your child is away from home, let him or her bring a familiar object.

Have a consistent primary caregiver. If you hire a caregiver, try to keep him or her on the job.

Leave without fanfare. Tell your child you are leaving and that you will return, then go—don’t stall.

Minimize scary television. Your child is less likely to be fearful if the shows you watch are not frightening.

Try not to give in. Reassure your child that he or she will be just fine - setting limits will help the adjustment to separation.

(Lets face it kids are full of honesty, they say it as they see it. This is a new column written from the ‘HONEST’ observations from our children. It touches on all aspects of the process of growing up and how we as parents can improve ourselves from a child’s point of view).

Text by Mayuri Jayasinghe