Having just returned from a family holiday in peaceful settings I felt more stressed than I was before I left. Despite the whole objective of the trip being was for my husband and I to rejuvenate from the business of typical everyday life, we infact felt no different but maybe a bit mare harried after dealing with small kids in a five hour car journey.
Of course Monday morning dawned with deadlines work commitments and the usual hustle bustle of the household. Our holiday was a mere exercise in which we moved our parental stress to a different location for a few days. As parents we are always juggling the balance between self, family and spouse. When you have children your time is never your own.
But the reality is that children are not a curse and we are not super heroic parents we need to remember that in the complex equation of family life, ‘yourself’ matters as well. It is not being selfish to demand time for your own, you are not a bad parent. In fact you are a great parent to abandon your kids, for finding that time to recuperate and rejuvenate makes you nothing but a better parent for your children. You want them to remember you as ‘happy’ mum rather than ‘grumpy’ mum. It is important to get the balance right, here are a few tips of achieving a more balanced parenting life.
Perfecting the juggling 
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However mundane and boring it sounds, when you are living a life filled with kids you have to be organized. The more organized in your plan of action, the less stress there will be in dealing with your kids and you will find yourself accomplishing a lot more.
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Do not over commit yourself. Family life coupled with work is quite hectic for one person to handle especially when you have little kids. Try and not take on other projects that will surely leave you stressed and thus cause family life to be tiresome. Your children want a happy parent and not a burnout one.
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Whatever happens at the end of the week, find time for yourself. This does not mean you are selfish, it just means that you are human too and need some time to recuperate. This could mean going for a walk by yourself, joining an arts and craft class, whatever takes your fancy and something that you can do by yourself which does not involve the kids.
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As the kids get older it is important to loosen the strangle hold on attachment parenting that we have. When our children are tiny we are committed to their wellbeing, but as they get older you can give them a few responsibilities. This does not mean that you are letting go as a parent but instead you are helping your child to grow and in turn you are helping yourself.
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Start a new hobby or develop an interest that only you are involved in. at first it might be difficult but once you have found something you truly enjoy to do, it is a welcome release from the confusion of everyday life.
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Do not stress too much over the upbringing on children. Lots of mothers complain during exam time and how stressful it is to get children to sit down to study. I am guilty of that myself for I feel what every parent feels that is that we must push our children to do well. But infact this attitude is detrimental, we must infact guide them, for when we worry about their performance, they start to worry as well and all this commotion causes unnecessary hazzle on everyone.
Unfortunately our escape holiday from the pressures of everyday life was not as the perfect stress reliever we thought it would be. It was lovely to share that special time with the kids but at the expense of our harried nerves. Next time we thought we would juggle better and leave the kids at home, if rest and relaxation is what we are looking for. Parent’s need a holiday as well!
By Mayuri Jayasinghe
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