Until I was five years old I spent vast amounts of time with my grandparents. Looking back to me it was a magical time spent, I would make myself comfortable in a corner of my grandparent’s large bedroom, and sit enthralled listening to my grandfather’s grandiose stories while the click clack of my grandmother’s Singer sowing machine worked away in the background. These simple memories are ones that I will cherish for a lifetime. My mother says I was thoroughly spoilt, but despite the undivided attention I got, it taught me about forming my first truly important relationships and I think I turned out a better person because of that! 

Anthropologist Margaret Mead once even stated that connections between the generations are "Essential for the mental health and stability of a nation." Having grandparents involved in raising children is beneficial to all three parties involved, grandchildren, parents and grandparents. 

GRANDCHILDREN 

· Grandparents are very patient and effective teachers and grandchildren can learn new skills from them. I first learned how to sow from my grandmother and would spend endless hours doing crooked rows of the running stitch which my grandmother thought were brilliant. And now my son learns how to play the piano from my father who is so accomplished in his own right. 

· Sometimes children find it hard to talk to their parents and grandparents are the ‘nonjudgmental’ next best thing. 

· By interacting with grandparents, history is not lost and children have a better sense of who they are. 

· As my daughter says ‘Achcha and Seeya are great, because they don't always tell me what I’m doing wrong. They just like what I do, any way I do it." Research has shown that it is good for a child to be spoilt a little. Children only expect such behavior from their grandparents and in the long run it helps to develop their self-esteem as well as emotional and social skills. 

GRANDPARENTS 

· Grandparents see it as a second chance to be involved in children’s lives. They might have not been involved in their own children’s lives and this gives them fresh opportunities to do things right. 

· An active grandparent is a less depressed one. By getting involved in your grand children’s lives you are keeping yourself occupied and busy. 

· There is less pressure on grandparents to bring children up properly. So instead of worrying about all the wrong things children do, which parents are famous for, they can take great joy in the wonders of their grandchildren. 

PARENTS 

· As parents we lead busy lives, earning a living for our children, so at the end of our hectic day we do not have the patience or energy to deal with the whims and fancies of our children. In this case having grandparents around helps to alleviate some of the burden of child rearing. 

· As a parent I feel more relaxed and comforted when I know my children are being looked after by my parents. I appreciate the nannies I have but I am comforted when my own flesh and blood are involved. 

It is very important to open up those channels of communication between grandparent and grandchild, for one represents the past and the other the future and both take comfort from each others prescence. As the intermediary the parent, we are able to enjoy the help given to us from our parent in raising our children and in turn our children give our parents joy and comfort. These ties are important, these ties are filled with love, these ties are your family. 

By Mayuri Jayasinghe