Living in the land of “extraordinary” 

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra push” - Jimmy Johnson 

This quote made me wonder, as parents if we were to say the right things to our children would this help them become better versions of themselves than they already are. The right words said can be very powerful tools of motivation. As our children's biggest influencers, we can make them believe in anything. To grow up being encouraged, being told that they do indeed have the ability to achieve is a positive environment for success. If one were to take the option of always pointing out your child's faults, in the hopes that they will over come them, this will not guarantee you positive results. In fact they will start believing that maybe they are not clever after all or lack the ability or others are more skilled than them. It kills a child's self confidence and self-esteem. Of course only you are aware of your child's limitations, do not encourage a child to pursue something that you know they will surely fail at. Give them choices, you must let them pursue interests that they are motivated to do, but through your guidance they can indeed be the best at it. Here are some ways, through the power of positive criticism to foster the perfect environment for your child to succeed. 

1. Being courageous: Being courageous is a powerful word to compliment your child with for their actions. Be it because they were started a new class, took part in a play or even stood up to bullies, praise them wholeheartedly for their actions. The next time that another challenging situation arises and your child is unsure of themselves, remind them of a situation in which they were courageous. This will overcome that doubt in their minds and give them the extra consolation and confidence needed to perform. 

2. Feedback on improvement: Your children are improving everyday, some improvements are more noticeable than others. However big or small, notice the improvement and give your positive feedback on them. This validates your child's actions in trying, and gives them the necessary encouragement to try harder. From improvement in their academics to just normal everyday occurrences like they got ready for school quickly or cleaned their room with out being asked. Your child will welcome any positive feedback and give them the encouragement to strive harder. 

3. Praise hard work: Sometimes I see the accomplishments my children have acquired from sports medals won to singing competitions completed, and I understand that they have worked hard. They have given their time and commitment and one should appreciate that. By appreciating the hard work committed you show your child that you do appreciate their actions and this encourages them to repeat this said behavior in another instance. When they achieve results it also shows them that hard work does pay and these are excellent intrinsic values learnt from a young age. 

4. Accept “Self-Motivation”: Self motivation is sometimes difficult to practice in the best of people. So when your child shows self-motivation to accomplish a task on their own, then this is surely to be praised. Be it that they studied extra and improved their score, helped with a household task without being asked or cleaned up after themselves without being prompted. This showed an interest and a motivation to be better than they already are, and that is always a step in the right direction. Such positive behavior deserves praise and encouragement, which in turn will motivate them to repeat it. 

These are just some ways to positively motivate your child through correct phrase and encouragement. They are not grandiose, theory practiced remedies, they are subtle, almost natural , but very powerful results are achieved when practiced right. As parents we all want our children to succeed, if we can contribute to this in a positive manner then all are winners. Try some positive praise and see what results you get. 

By Mayuri Jayasinghe