Oh! Colombo : Personal space

Having one’s personal space is very important, whether it be at your home, work place, marriage and wherever one wishes to have it.  As Max de Pree, an American writer, says “We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.”

How well is it observed here? If one is at home one this could easily be practiced by giving out instructions of not wanting to be disturbed.  It is even better if you live alone because you can choose to ignore the doorbell, telephone and other peripheral disturbing elements.  

Some of us like to spend our alone time at the hairdresser or beauty parlour having a relaxed head massage or enjoying some other treatment.  However, in most establishments in Colombo the luxury to enjoy this alone time or privacy is difficult.  Lo and behold comes in another client who spots you and decides that it is time for a chit chat and out goes your space. The chat of course is one sided but you are obligated to listen to this so called friend talking about him/herself and his/her doings. Such a bore. If not disturbed by another client you have to listen to the service provider lament about their hardships or how badly they are treated by their employer or if they have done well all about their new buys; worse still are the stories of their conquests on of their new lovers.  Reading a magazine, texting on the phone or having earphones stuck to your ears do not deter these people from carrying on.

The same goes if you are concentrating on your shopping list at the supermarket, browsing about at a bookshop, dining at a restaurant with someone with whom you are having a private conversation.  On aircrafts the situation is equally bad.  When you have decided to either sleep, watch a movie or read a book, the individual seated next to you decides to introduce him or herself and then go on to have this long conversation which is always one sided and most amazingly about him/herself.  

Privacy is not respected by most people and perhaps can be excused with the uneducated but it is mostly the so called educated types who wish to intrude on another’s privacy and space. It is indeed a shame that one cannot go around anywhere to enjoy one’s own space and privacy.  As somebody remarked we would have to wear a ‘do not disturb’ sticker on our forehead and hope that the intruders notice and leave you alone.

Having one’s own space and to gather one’s own thoughts is most important to all of us. All of us are generally involved with another, be it a relationship, marriage or friendship, and these involvements go on due to giving each other their own space and time. Respecting other people’s privacy and giving them their own space is practice that should be encouraged and cultivated.