Oh! Colombo 

The talk was all about marriage at Trixie’s the other day. She had just got the news that her niece who married a year back had separated from her husband and was now living on her own. Marriage today certainly is turning out to be a tricky venture. It seems that most set themselves up for disappointment once married as marriage does not match up with their expectations. Seemingly, over the years, the nature of marriage has changed. Those who choose to live their lives with partners instead of marrying seem to score better. It seems that now more than fifty percent of the marriages end up in divorce and that is with most couples who stay married being actually miserable and dissatisfied with their relationship.

Trixie reminiscing on her own marriage told us that hers was actually an arranged match, like most marriages were in that time. But she got to know her husband before they actually tied the knot. Her marriage certainly had a few ups and downs and a few disagreements but not at the level of leading to discussions of separation and the thought of divorcing never ever came to their minds. Her take was that you have to work the marriage and support and encourage each other and mainly there has to be a great friendship with your partner. The problem now is that people marry for the wrong reasons especially in Colombo. Most women are gold diggers. They will run off and marry any person if there is wealth involved since their first love is money to do the grand; some marry rich men and do not give a darn about who with or what their husbands do as long as they have money to carry on with their la di das. The smarter men also woo rich girls in order to secure their future and do likewise - marry the wealthy woman and then lead his own life. The smarter woman manages to kick them out but most are pressured into remaining married due to the supposed stigma brought upon the family. Divorce is the better option, Trixie said, rather than suffering with an unlivable spouse. All this is so visible in Colombo and being the village it is everyone is quite aware of the miserable marriages in this place.

Trixie’s advise to unhappy married people is that no matter how your husband or wife treats you, some are still in love with their partner and yearn for the marriage get back to what it was when they started or imagine how it should be. A good thing to remember is that you cannot force life or love to be the way you want it to be. When you recognize that your marriage is on the rocks,  remember that you have options and, no matter how trapped and helpless you may feel, begin taking some action and empower yourself.

At the end of the evening after hearing all these stories I was glad that I am single and unattached!