Feb 22 2017.
views 794A British national who wished to remain anonymous accounted her story in detail to me. She advises you to exercise some caution if you ever see yourself in a similar situation as hers.
"Living along the southern coast of Sri Lanka was certainly idyllic. Palm fringed beaches, azure waves gently lapping against the golden sands and miles of sandy beach with hardly anyone on it. This was certainly my idea of paradise. After having left London on a voyage of discovery, my journey had taken me across Europe to India and now I was in Sri Lanka, a paradise which lived up to its reputation. I was living in an annexe rented from a local family and I would spend my days lazing on the beach, practicing yoga or updating my blog.
Soon the locals came to know me and befriended me. They would invite me to their homes for meals of spicy curries and watch in amazement as I tried to deftly use my fingers to ball up the rice and curries and nimbly put into my mouth or they would bring packets of food for me on the days I preferred my own company.
I guess I was an archetypical British woman in my mid 40s, with mousy brown hair and no middle age spread thanks to my healthy eating and daily yoga sessions, or perhaps I was just lucky in the genes department! Soon I noticed a young man catching my attention. He was easy on the eye and always spoke to me when he saw me on the beach. Of course the seasoned traveller that I was, initially I was weary of him but soon the usual good morning or good afternoon had morphed into deeper conversations with the little English he knew. He was always attentive and wanting to bring me fresh thambili or offering to bring me lunch.
Against my better judgment this platonic relationship became physical and he would spend most days in my annexe or walking along the beach with me watching the beautiful sunsets. He would shower me with compliments and I was just blown away by it all. Soon, he was preparing to take me to see his parents and although nervous when I met them they were lovely and embraced me into the heart of their family life. Soon, I had given up the annexe and moved into their small house sharing a room with my young lover.
After a few months of contributing to the expenses, Heshan to whom I had lost my heart, suggested that we build a bigger room. I was all for the idea as the room was small and living conditions were cramped. After discussing the idea he then said he was short of funds and said he would need Rs. 400,000 to complete the project. I did the math and realised he was asking me to part with three thousand pounds. Considering I was in this for the long haul I said okay and got my bank to wire me the money. I gave some of it to Heshan to buy the building materials but then he said the authorities needed to be bribed in order to get the plan passed. Blinded by love I agreed and he claimed to have paid Rs. 100,000 to the officials as a bribe. After a few weeks when I asked him what was happening he said that although the plan was passed the utility companies were asking for bribes to approve the water and electricity. In my naivety I agreed and soon half the money was gone. By this time Heshan was spending more time out of the house than with me, his excuse being he had to meet various officials to get the groundwork done for the extension. Soon I realised that he had used most of the money and there was hardly any money left for the actual building. At this time his mother approached me and asked me for additional funds, and as I was skeptical, I said no as I could not part with any more money.
Then, out of the blues, Heshan presented me with a ring and said he wanted to marry me. I was blown away by it all and said yes. After that things were quiet and I was happily living my life planning a beach wedding until Heshan said that he was giving up work at the beach restaurant he worked at in the evenings. "How are we going to pay for the wedding?" I asked him and he looked at me and said that a registry office wedding would suffice. I was gutted as I had wanted a wedding on the beach dressed in a sari with frangipani flowers in my hair. Against my better judgment I said I would pay for a beach wedding just for his family and the few friends I had made in the village.
Soon after that conversation, alarm bells started ringing when I found Heshan on my laptop looking up information on how to apply for visa once to London. I confronted him and asked him what he was thinking of as I had wanted to settle down in Sri Lanka and make my life here. But it appeared Heshan had other ideas, as he wanted to go to London and live there. This was not in my plan. He was very upset when I told him I did not want to spend my married life back in London. His parents also got dragged into the argument and then it dawned on me the ulterior motives they had. They had all seen me as a meal ticket, a person to help them escape the living conditions they endured and better their lot in life. I was devastated and a few days later when Heshan said he was going to Colombo to get some documents for his passport application, I took my bare essentials and left the house. I escaped to a friend's house in Galle and have been there since. I am somewhat disillusioned that I was taken for a ride but I am happy that I managed to escape from the relationship before it ended in marriage. I have changed my SIM and Heshan has no clue where I am. This whole saga has been a huge learning experience and I am heading back to London to weigh my options. I am not the first and I know I certainly won't be the last but my words of warning are be careful and think twice before you embark on any sort of relationship with a local who may be looking at you as their ticket out of Sri Lanka."
1 Comments
Heshantheislander says:
Mar 01, 2017 at 02:58 pmSo sorry to hear this. But it makes no sense. Why would anyone in their right mind want to leave paradise for London? The mind boggles at the sheer thought.