We chat to Eashtha Dediwela, a student and author of the book ‘like no Other ‘ a personal journey about combatting depression. 

1. What made you write a book on Depression?

When I was going through my phase of depression and anxiety, I was searching for a book written by someone who had been through something similar, but I couldn’t find any. I searched online for personal accounts of stories regarding bullying, making friends, teenage depression, and anxiety but I had no luck. I wanted to find a book that I could relate to written by someone who would understand my struggles because I felt like my support system (including my parents, teachers, psychiatrists, psychologists, and horse riding instructors) only understood me to a certain extent.

2. What made you choose the above-mentioned name for your book?

For a long time, I wasn’t interested in anything as a result of my depression; all I wanted to do was lie down in my bed, stare up at the ceiling with my dog by my side, and think. After I started getting better, I often felt like the ‘odd one out’ and I was labelled as being ‘weird’ throughout my teenage years. I wasn’t interested in the typical things teenage girls liked,  including but not limited to movies, TV series, boys, and girls, makeup and skincare, nails…etc,’. I enjoyed being in the great outdoors with my pets. Word getting out regarding my taking medicine for depression and anxiety didn’t help either.

I struggled with finding and accepting my self-identity and uniqueness for a while and I think that everyone should embrace their uniqueness and love themselves for who they are despite what the rest of the world thinks as long as they’re not harming anyone. This is what made me choose ‘Like No Other’ as the title for my book because no two people are alike and that is what makes us unique. The world needs each and every one of us, despite how different we are from one another.

3. Please tell us about the process of writing it.

I had recovered around 45% when I started writing my book. Finding a format to put the book in was a struggle because I had to fit 6 years of my life into a few hundred pages. I started writing it in a diary format, documenting each day at first, every few weeks next, and towards the end, the key events that occurred. Whenever I wrote a diary entry or a situation that occurred in the past, I would immediately be transported to that day. It was like an out-of-body experience where my ghost was watching everything unfold right in front of me for the second time. All the feelings I felt back then, rushed into me and I would sometimes end up tearing up as I wrote the book.

After I finished writing, I had to bring myself to reality and remind myself that I’m not there anymore and that everything is now okay.

4. How was your support system and who did it comprise?

I was very lucky to have the strong support system I had at the time and I know that not all children are fortunate enough to have access to the comforts I had access to. That said, I believe that there are little things that go a long way and make a huge difference in a child’s life. My support system comprised my family (parents and brother), psychiatrists, psychologists, teachers and staff at the school I attended, horse riding instructors, and my two dogs.

My parents were my pillars of strength and continue to support me and be right by my side with every step I take. My mother found some of the best psychiatrists and psychologists in the country to take me to and supported me by enrolling me (and my brother) in extracurricular activities and holidays in the country and around the world in order to relieve the immense amount of stress I experienced in school.

My psychiatrist and psychologist were the two people I felt that empathised with me and understood me the most. They were the people I vented with and confessed how I really felt. They made me feel like what I told them was valued and that my privacy was maintained. The staff and teachers at the school I went to were exceptional. They made me feel like I could rely on them whenever I didn’t have my parents or psychiatrist and psychologist in school. My horse riding instructors made riding a very enjoyable activity for me and helped me relieve stress.

5. How did you cope with school, especially senior school?

I went for weekly psychiatrist and psychologist appointments that lasted for 45 minutes to an hour
(approx.) during which I mostly vented. My psychologist and psychiatrist taught me various coping mechanisms such as breathing exercises which didn’t really help at the beginning because I would take it in from one ear and let it out of the other, without retaining the information. The tricky thing about this is that you need to be in the right headspace to absorb the techniques taught and in the beginning, I wasn’t. The venting sessions were only a temporary relief as I would be back to my then “usual” self in no time. In addition, my mother listened and counselled me for hours on end and my father would give me motivational talks on the way to school every morning. When my parents, psychiatrist and psychologist couldn’t speak to me, I would speak to my dog, Bruno, who was with me 24/7.

Horse riding also provided me with temporary relief for 30 minutes as I would forget about my struggles and live in the moment with my horse. Riding was a bribe as my parents gave me one condition: if you go to school the whole week (or two days in the beginning), you would get to go riding. I also knew that I could rely on my teachers at school if the need arose. With time and as I matured, I learned my strengths and weaknesses and how I respond to situations so I learned to navigate them in a way that wasn’t overwhelming for me.

6.  In your opinion is there enough awareness of mental health in Sri Lanka?

I believe that mental health awareness in Sri Lanka is increasing - it certainly has in the past ten years. However, I feel like there is still plenty of room for improvement. The first step I think we must take is changing the mindset on how mental health is viewed in our country. There is only a handful of child and adolescent psychiatrists in the country and the demand for them is higher than ever.

Many psychiatrists are migrating abroad in search of better pay and higher standards of living. We need to find a way to retain these mental health professionals so that the children in our country can get the help they need. We also need more young psychiatrists and psychologists who are innovative and think outside of the box. We are all different people and we need to be approached differently. I believe that this is the same for children and adults alike. We need more psychiatrists who embrace this mindset and not treat clients in a uniform way because this is not a ‘one size fits all’ situation. Another reason for this is that young children tend to divert and relate to young professionals.

9. Can you tell us about obtaining your degree from Arizona State University?

Arizona State University (ASU) was a much-needed change; it was a change I was ready for and one that I was looking forward to. My time at ASU helped me discover who I truly was and it taught me to be comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t know anyone at ASU and no one knew me or about my past. Therefore, they had no basis to judge me which wasn’t the case in Sri Lanka. I found it difficult to find my place here because the people I was around constantly looked at me the way they did when I was schooling whereas in reality, I was not that same person; I had changed a whole lot.

The preconceived notions that people around me had of me made it very difficult for me to move on because despite how much I tried to break the barriers and be free, I was dragged back into the cage I was trapped in. I addition to catching up on my academics (which I fell behind in school) and getting actively involved in the university (I missed out on being a part of the school’s activities because I never felt like I belonged there and I was always too anxious to spend an extra 2 minutes in school) ASU helped me break these barriers and when I moved back I brought this mindset with me and I was stubborn enough to not let it go. I started not caring about what people thought of me and whoever they did think was on them and not on me. ASU ignited this change and it taught me to be independent - it gave me the confidence that I could go to an unknown place and survive on my own despite the challenges in the beginning.

10. Also tell us about reading for your MA at Harvard University. 

Harvard was not even a dream of mine because I never thought that I had the potential to get in, yet here I am. If I’m being completely honest, the academics at Harvard are more challenging than they were at ASU and it requires a lot of hard effort and dedication. However, I have made a lot of interesting and new connections from across the globe. I enjoy learning from my professors (as I did at ASU) and the material we study. I’m looking forward to being on campus this summer and obtaining my degree. 

By Kshalini Nonis