Selfies: 50 Shades of Meh

Selfies - the offspring of ego and vanity artfully filtered and edited to perfection under the guise of digital exhibitionism. You may love them or hate them, but you can't deny that selfies have taken over the Internet. With the rise and advancement of handheld technology, selfies have gained in popularity as a pastime of an already lazy and lethargic society. Unsurprisingly, people of all ages - not just teenagers - have jumped on the selfie bandwagon.

So why do people take selfies? For most, its a case of self absorption. Others take selfies when they're bored. A few dare to call it art. Which it probably is, owing to the copious amounts of makeup on their faces.

Taking selfies is hard work. Even the invention of the selfie stick has done little to ease the effort. The lighting needs to be perfect and the camera phone angled strategically so as to accentuate your best features and/or assets. You then embark on the daunting task of picking that one perfect selfie out of the 75 you just took. And finally, there's the editing and filters that could be the thin line between looking flawless or basic. Because priorities, right?

Without further ado, here are some of the most common types of selfies you'll find on your social media feed. But first, let me take a selfie! Or uh, maybe not.

The Duckface

Remember all the times you tried to seduce the camera with that sexy smoulder and pout? And failed? With the evolution of the selfie, the failed attempt at a pout led to what is now famously celebrated as the duckface. With no help from collagen fillers, our pouts are far from hot. In fact, it looks downright ridiculous and unflattering.

Bathroom Selfie

Does anyone use the bathroom for what it's meant, anymore? Every time someone excuses themselves to visit the loo you can safely bet your life savings that they're in there taking selfies. In which universe the toilet makes for an intriguing backdrop is beyond me. Seriously, just stop!

Gym / Ab Selfie

Because simply checking into Foursquare doesn't cut it anymore. Yeah we know you've been going crazy with those crunches and skimping on the carbs. But having an entire Instagram account devoted to your abs ain't remotely cute. Neither is forcing your "pro tips" in the guise of a caption down our throats!

Just Woke Up / Bed Selfie

You just woke up feeling all refreshed and fabulous, so you decided to take a selfie and post it with an accompanying caption and hashtags #nofilter #nomakeup. Yeah okay. We're pretty sure even Beyonce didn't exactly "wake up like this".

Pet Selfie

Lately, an unprecedented number of people have been pimping out their pets in a quest for more likes, followers and Internet fame. End of the day, you're more likely to hit that follow button for a page dedicated to or consisting of a cute pet, amirite? But what we have now is a narcissistic society that can't resist but sneak into the pic, thus making it a selfie. How hard is it to let your own pet be the star without stealing its thunder?

Crying Selfie

We get it. Zayn Malik quit One Direction. Your life is over. You need to vent. Wallow in your heartbreak. Share your tears and pain with the world. Only, the world doesn't really give a crap. Instead, the world would rather you grabbed a tub of ice cream and pull yourself together.

Funeral Selfie

Of all the depraved selfies on here, this has got to be the worst, hands down. Taking a selfie with grandma lying in a casket behind you and posting it with the hashtag #sosad is not cute. You get mad props for being an insensitive jerk tho!

OOTD Selfie

Outfit Of The Day selfies - or lack thereof - are also steadily gaining popularity among the younger demographic. Remember that time your outfit was so fresh you didn't wanna leave cuz enough people hadn't seen you yet? OOTD selfies are the answer to that prayer - you can incessantly post selfies of yourself in your freshest outfits without worrying about not being seen enough.

Crop Selfie

How many times have you taken a gazillion selfies with your buddy, only to have nothing to post despite you looking great because he or she blinked? We've all been there. Who among us has not cropped someone out of a selfie before posting online, because our hair and makeup were on point? Kim K recently caught a lot of flack for cropping little North out of her selfie, which sparked a revolution of folks posting cropped pics with the various captions ending with "... and I was feeling my look. Can I live?"

By Rihaab Mowlana