Everyone from megastars to fading celebs desperate to get back into the spotlight to countless others famous for being famous seem to have one thing in common - they can never seem to get enough attention. Mostly, it seems, at the expense of their innocent cherub. We're guessing these folks didn't get the memo (or are probably too rich to care), but naming your kid something awful is high up on Lousy Parenting 101. Some of these names are so atrocious, that we're not sure if we want to throw up or punch these parents in the throat.

Naming your kid something dumb should be a criminal offense. Illegal even. While questioning the sanity of the geniuses (especially the repeat offenders) tasked with name picking and who, in their infinite wisdom, picked the very worst of the lot (brownie points for creativity), we pray that the wrongfully named kids will not one day require therapy.

We've scoured the internet for the weirdest yet undeniably unique names of celebrity offspring. But first, a minute of silence for all those unfortunate beings who’ve already been named, or are about to be named something equally ludicrous.

Audio Science
Son Of: Shannyn Sossamon

Shannyn Sossamon is your typical has-been clawing her way back into the limelight with this abominable excuse for a name. Imagine this: "Hey I'm Audio Science." "Oh you study audio science?" "No. I AM Audio Science." Cue awkward silence.

Kal-El
Son Of: Nicolas Cage

It's safe to assume Nicolas cage is a fan of comics because 1) he changed his last name from Coppola to Cage in honor of Marvel character Luke Cage 2) he named his son Kal El after Superman. (For those who are confused - Kal El was Superman’s birth name while Clark Kent was his assumed name).

Pilot Inspektor
Son Of: Jason Lee

If someone introduced themselves to us saying, "Hi, I'm Pilot. Pilot Inspektor. With a K" we wouldn't know if to burst out laughing or stare back incredulously or be offended - "You tryna insult my intelligence, bro?" So, you may ask, what on earth possessed Jason to name his child Pilot Inspektor? A song. More specifically, the song "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot" by Grandaddy. Thanks Jason, you just scarred your kid for life.

Tu Morrow
Daughter Of: Rob Morrow

Ahhhh puns. It’s all fun and games until it ends up as your name. And eventually, you're at the receiving end of all jokes. For the rest of your life. This may possibly be the worst fate to willingly bestow on your child.

North West
Daughter of Kim Kardashian & Kanye West

Ditto the case of Tu Morrow. Do we blame it on that initial spark of rumor that made its rounds in the press? Or Pharrell? Or Anna Wintour, who claimed - and we quote - "North is a genius name"? At which point, Kim and Kanye looked at one another and just laughed. Then conceded and named their daughter North West.

Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie
Daughters Of: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates

Sadly, these names are not simply a random listing of fairies, pixies, elves and garden gnomes from a children's book, but a real life nightmare concocted by Bob and Paula for their unlucky daughters. These names would have been acceptable - for your cat. For actual human children? Not so much. Proving that she was definitely the mastermind behind the names, her daughter with INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence was named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. We really wish we were kidding.

Ocean, Sonnet and True
Children of: Forest Whitaker

The names are all soo poetic that we have been rendered speechless by their brilliance.

Seven Sirius, Puma Sabti, Mars Merkaba
Children of:  Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu

Um... what??? We cannot imagine what they were thinking naming their kids after planets/chocolate bars, numbers  and... SNEAKERS?????

Moon Unit, Dweezil, and Diva Muffin
Children of: Frank Zappa

We almost mistook these for the opening/closing lines of a speech by Professor Albus Dumbledore. Almost. ("Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" anyone?)

Apple
Daughter of: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

There is no doubt that apples changed the world: Eve's apple, Newtons apple and Steve Jobs apple. Was good old gwinnie was hoping for a similar earth shattering effect on the world? We may never know, but here's what she told Oprah: "Right, well, um, basically it was because when we were first pregnant, her daddy said, if it's, basically one day he just said if it's a girl I think her name should be Apple. And I just, it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for me, you know apples are so sweet and they're wholesome, and it's biblical and it's just, they're so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely and ..." yeah okay Gwinnie. Whatever you say.

Sage Moonblood
Son Of: Sylvester Stallone

If we penned a novel about witches, the protagonist would probably be named Sage Moonblood. What we mean to say is, some names are better left to reel life or books. Real life - not so much. Thankfully Moonblood is only the middle name. We DID mention that Sage is a GUY right?

Rocket Rodriguez
Son Of: Robert Rodriguez

Albeit sounding like the name of a game show host ("I'm Rockeeeeet Rodriguez and..." - you know the drill), we gotta admit the name Rocket is kinda awesome. Rocket is also the older sibling of Racer, Rebel, Rogue and Rhiannon. Well, what can we say - dad Robert seems to be fond of the Letter R. Ditto alliteration.

Moxie Crimefighter
Daughter Of: Penn Jillette

While we're not too sure how we'd feel about having Moxie as a first name, we're pretty sure having Crimefighter as a middle name would be out of the question. Darling Moxies parents tho, put forth their theory that no one really uses their middle name anyway so why not have fun with it?

By Rihaab Mowlana