We’ve all heard of guys becoming ‘best man’ and ‘groomsman’, but how often do we hear someone becoming a ‘bridesman’ in Sri Lanka?
Meet Donovan Abeyewardene - one of the two ‘bridesmen’ of the bridal party at a wedding of a close friend and colleague from work. In our little Q & A, he tells us what it’s like to be on the other side of the wedding party.
Was this your first time being a bridesman?
Yep. It was not too different from being a groomsman or best man. Not sure if I will be a bridesman ever again, but I will never forget the experience.
As the bridesman, how involved were you in the wedding planning?
On this occasion we didn’t get very much involved before the wedding, because the bride and groom’s families were awesome and had taken care of everything.
Did you plan a bachelorette party? Was it anything like what we see on TV or something completely different?
Here too, it was a little unorthodox because the guys at the office did all the planning for this and not the girls like in normal circumstances. It worked out very well though. Not all that different from something you see on TV, but not too wild either. We did a pub-hop kind of thing with a time and drinks schedule, as well as some fun activities for the bride-to-be to do along the way. When I say fun, it was fun for us who were watching, but probably not as much fun for the bride-to-be.
From one bridesman to another, what are the dos and don’ts of planning a bachelor party?
Do’s: Always have back-up plans for your back-up plans.
Don’ts: Do NOT leave planning for the last minute. It is not as easy as you think.
What’s the best and worst part about being a bridesman?
Best: Being able to be right there with your friend at the most important moment in her life.
Worst: Having to be somewhat sober the whole time, to ensure that the bridal party’s expectations for the night are met and exceeded.
Now that you’ve been on the other side of the bridal party – who has it a lot harder? Groomsmen or bridesmaids?
Having been in a bridal party, and now also being in the planning stages of another bachelor’s party + wedding of a best friend, I can tell you that being in the bride’s side is way harder in my opinion (many many things to manage, organizationally).Though of course it is an awesome feeling being on either side of the wedding.
The funniest thing that has happened to you/ or you had to do - as the bridesman?
I think there was this one time where the whole wedding party had to do this dance for a medley of Hindi songs….. in front of 250+ people.
What’s the one thing no one ever tells you about being a bridesman or a best man?
The one thing no one ever tells you is that when planning whatever it is, be it the bachelors’ or the speech or even the traditional ‘rag’ at the end, we are never told what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, and where to draw the line. So sometimes it may go a little overboard, so be aware!
Interviewed by Panchali Illankoon
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