Been There Done That: Chandika & Yasangi 

Planning a traditional Kandyan wedding is a difficult affair. With so many customs and traditions governing the ceremony, how does one pay respect to them all? We caught up with recently married couple – Chandika Basnayake and Yasangi Yatawara Basnayake – to tell us about the long standing traditions that makes a Kandyan wedding.

Tell us a little about yourself and how you met?

Chandika : I’m a medical doctor working in Killinochchi. I’ve known my wife for a very long period of time. She used to live next door to my favourite cousin. We’ve known each other for 10 years and I always thought she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. We started dating after she sat next to me as at the Bradby Shield rugby game. I met my wife at the most unusual place and fell in love with her and ended up marrying her!

Yasangi : I’m an interior designer professionally. I’ve known my husband since I was small but we were both not in touch with each other while pursuing our higher studies. After so many years later, we just met at the match and started our relationship.

What was it like to plan a wedding? Was it as stressful and hectic as people say?

Yasangi and Chandika : A wedding is a beautiful ceremony to any couple who waited to make their dreams come true. For us, planning the wedding wasn’t hectic or stressful because we both did it with the help of our family and friends. We enjoyed getting everything done. It was however, difficult to organize a truly traditional Sinhalese wedding due to different cultural influences.

What are some of the traditions you followed at your wedding?

Yasangi and Chandika : We followed the traditions of a Sinhala Buddhist Kandyan wedding which is a big part of our culture. We had a ‘Poruwa’ ceremony that was strictly guided by ‘Nekath’ for different activities.

Describe a wedding tradition that means a lot to you and why was it so important for you’ll to follow it?

Yasangi and Chandika : For us, the Poruwa ceremony meant a lot. It’s where the bride and the groom are tied in marriage with Buddhist rituals. The rituals are basically a means of declaring gratitude by the couple to their parents for all they’ve sacrificed in bring us up. It also enhances the moral responsibility of the couple to each other.  It was important because traditions are behaviours and actions you repeat again and again and we both come from a Kandyan family background so marriage is not just an agreement between two persons but actually between two parties.  To us, traditions emphasize this concept and give us a sense of belonging.

Are there any customs you’ll had to follow at your homecoming?

Yasangi and Chandika : So the homecoming is the day where the bridegroom takes his bride to his home and makes the bride a member of his family. One of the customs we had was for the bride’s parents to take the brides hand and place it on the right hand of the groom’s parents as a symbolic gesture of handing over their daughter to the groom’s parents.

What was the most memorable part of your wedding day?

Yasangi and Chandika : Every moment, from the start to the finish, was truly memorable for both of us.

Any advice for someone who’s planning a Kandyan wedding?

Yasangi and Chandika : We believe it’s important to protect and preserve these traditions for generations to come so our advice would be to maintain the customs of a Kandyan wedding without modifications because it has a great cultural value. And to perform a meaningful ceremony that will bind not only the couple but the two families together as well.

Interviewed by Panchali Illankoon
Photographs courtesy Natha Samarasinghe