8 Perfect Ways to Respond When Your Amma Tells You to Get Married
Every mother’s dream is to see her son and/or daughter achieve success upon success. But what is a Sri Lankan mother’s dream? It is to see her son married to a fair girl whose culinary skills are on point and her daughter married to a businessman who is good with kids.
With December being the undeclared National Marriage month, Lankan mothers tend to develop a special hormone named marriageron. Marriageron tends to make mothers cranky, resulting in them constantly telling you it’s time for you to get married.
But why fear, when Nabeela is here?
Here are the eight perfect ways to save yourself from marriageron.
1. “Amma, I want to study further”
This is a foolproof way to avoid the marriageron bombs for another couple of years because your mother’s motherly instincts will kick in and she will be so pleased about your wishes to be educated that the topic of marriage would drop.
2. “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend..”
This one is not for the cool moms who are the real MVPs out there.
But for those of us who have strict moms, this is a sure trick. This will automatically stop your mom from concentrating on putting together a marriage for you and will get your mom to concentrate on breaking you and your partner up.
Tip: Don’t tell her who it is. Go low key. Go really, really low key until she beats you up with her broomstick.
3. “But I don’t know how to cook!”
To all the girls out there who are being pestered into talks about marriage, there you have it – the best way to prolong marriageron from getting to you.
This comes with a warning though – you will be forced into going to a cookery class, but hey! That would mean making tasty food! So it is quite a win-win situation.
4. CRY.
Girls and boys, DO NOT HESITATE!
DO NOT LET YOUR PRIDE GET THE BETTER OF YOU.
GO AHEAD AND WEEP.
DO NOT LET YOUR TEARS STOP YOU. While this may not be long term, it will be quite effective until the next wedding invitation card has been handed to your mom.
5. Tell her you’re already married.
It doesn’t have to be true. You will have a lot of drama and sobbing to deal with. If you want to stop your mom to stop telling you to get married, deal with it.
6. Reject. Every. Single. Proposal.
Go ahead and reject. Portray a Miss World criterion in judging. Find excuses like “His brows aren’t on fleek” and “Her pout is not perfect”. Not only is this certified to annoy your parents, but it’s also ISO certified to help you out of the spell of marriageron.
7. Scare your potential spouse.
If you are a true Lankan, you know there’s no escaping your mother’s continuous pleas. There will be a lot of emotional blackmail. So, just agree to meet the girl/boy your mom wants you to get married to. At the meeting, go full on sleazy and frivolous.
Here are some ways:
If you’re a boy, lick your lips and say “oh, yeahhhhhhh” when you see her. Wink like a creep throughout the meeting.
If you’re a girl, talk about how you love being a gold digger and how much you hate mothers-in-law.
You can add more to the list, if you want to, but these are the basics.
8. Tell her the truth.
She is your mother – your beloved mother. If she pressures you into marriage, take her out for a cup of coffee and explain things to her. She will understand. GOOD LUCK! (Because you will need lots of it!)
Disclaimer: You shall not hold me responsible for any consequences and damages (physical and mental).
Oh, and
By Nabeela Yaseen
0 Comments
yaseen says:
Oct 23, 2015 at 12:00 amMother always right what I lern in my life .
yaseen says:
Oct 23, 2015 at 12:00 amMother always right what I lern in my life .
Kavindu Indatissa says:
Apr 28, 2016 at 12:00 amYou forgot the "ammi, I'm gay" point. xD