Oxford Dictionaries defines self-esteem as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. However, in a world that sends us constant, subliminal messages that we need to be better, it is often difficult to have a positive attitude about ourselves. We are continuously urged to buy and do things that will make us smarter, better looking, richer, or more popular. It becomes easy to internalize this message that we are being sent: we are simply not good enough.

People are not born with low self-esteem, rather, the experiences and effects they encounter create a lack of self-confidence. Sometimes it is a negative influence in one’s life; a person who is frequently critical of one’s decisions and actions. Other times, you are your own worst enemy – constantly comparing oneself to others, putting yourself down. Regardless of the source, this accrued low opinion of one’s self can have a destructive impact on one’s life. A research article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (by Orth Ulrich, Richard Robins, and Keith Widaman) found that individuals who lacked self-esteem were more likely to suffer from health problems, not have career success, and have difficulty sustaining relationships. Conversely, people with a higher, more balanced self-esteem were found to have better lifestyles, be more effective, and overall be happier individuals.

So the verdict is out: being confident in yourself and your capabilities will lead to you being more content about your life. But, fear not those who suffer from low self-image! Exercising a few easy strategies can help improve your self-esteem. So how can you work on feeling better about yourself?

1. Make a list 

This exercise is most effective if done with a close friend or friends (but you can do this by yourself as well). Each of you should have a piece of paper. Write your name on top of the piece of paper – this will become “your” paper. Now, each person should pass “their” paper to another friend. Once you have someone else’s paper with you, write down at least one thing you like or admire about your friend. Continue this until everyone has contributed something to their friends’ papers. Read all the lovely things your friends have written about you and keep this paper around when you are feeling bad about yourself – it’s a guaranteed confidence boost.

2. Understand that success does not mean happiness 

You don’t have to be successful to be happy. In fact, it can be argued that many successful people don’t seem to be very content with their lives (Lindsay Lohan, Owen Wilson, and Heath Ledger to name a few). While it is important to have goals, your happiness should not hinge upon achieving those goals. It is better to give your life meaning than to mindlessly propel yourself forward in hopes that reaching your target will give you the joy you seek.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others! 

As author Iyanla Vanzant said, “Comparison is an act of violence against the self”. We are all unique. We have exclusive strengths, weaknesses, experiences, and thoughts and this makes it quite difficult to be just like someone else. Just because you are not like someone you admire, does not mean that you don’t have just as much to offer as them. Revel in your distinctiveness and put your specific talents to good use!

4. Fake it till you make it 

It’s time for some acting lessons! Before you enter a room, put your shoulders back and get that chin up. When you meet someone smile and make eye contact (extra points for confidently reaching out for a handshake!). Having people respond well to you will instantly make you feel more confident about yourself.

By Rachel Gray