Sri Lankan weddings can be full of surprises, regardless of what religion or tradition they fall under. Most surprising is the kind of people you’d come across. We made a list. 

Written by Zainab Faizal  


Receiving a wedding invite is the best thing ever (for the most part, expensive gifts aside of course!). We have an excuse to dress up, enjoy amazing food and have a fabulous time. It’s pretty much like a golden ticket by Willy Wonka for a night of extravagance and amusement!

We put together 6 types of people you’re sure to meet at any Lankan wedding. See if you agree. If we've left out any other types, comment below and let us know! 

1. The food lovers AKA buffet bandits 

 

Now, I know most of us absolutely love food with a capital L, but I’m talking about food lovers who pretty much have a love affair with no one other than food! And yes they aren’t afraid to show it! When dinner is served is when they get their gastric juices working. You’d see mad rushes to the buffet queue, piled up plates, and even third servings. Sadly, no, they might not remember the gorgeous dress you’d be wearing or that particular day, or even the ceremony decor. However, they most certainly can be your food critics, making sure the dishes are spot on and delicious! 

2. The glittery diva

Most certainly not too difficult to spot this one. Or two or three or a few dozen actually. Let’s call them the fashionistas, shall we? This woman will be dressed so lavishly, you could mistake her for the bride. She just loves to get dressed with expensive designer wear, heavy make-up, a crazy hairstyle and extremely high heels. What’s her aim here? To steal the spotlight and to be eye candy (although, she could also be the bride’s friend or close relative). Worst part? Every time you try to strike up a conversation with her, she’d not stop talking about where she got her outfit or her necklace from. The best part? If you’re lucky enough, you’d probably walk away with an amazing fashion tip or two! 

3. Aunty – know – it – all

I’m literally groaning as I type this out. I mean, we all have this aunty, be it at a wedding, a birthday, or even a funeral! You can totally love her and all, if you’ve got the perfect life, but we all know that’s not gonna happen. The aunt can sniff every imperfection (sigh). She’s a multi-skilled woman - from matchmaking, coming up with reasons as to why you need to have children soon, or why you’re single, or why didn’t you order food from this place etc. They can also offer home remedies, life advice and choicest gossip but please beware, you can easily become part of her gossip. 
 

4. The exclusive guests

 

 

Can we not relate? We all know how normal weddings suddenly become super posh, hit the papers and get paparazzi attention, because some guests are celebrities, politicians and even the president at times! They certainly do add a lot of glamour to the wedding. Be prepared for a lot of bragging and exaggeration at this wedding. 

5. But first, let me take a selfie

Thanks to the excellent quality of iPhones, we’ve got a new guest type – the selfie freaks! These people are clearly obsessed with selfies – snapping away at every breathing space in the wedding venue. There’ll be constant updates on instagram, facebook or SnapChat and yes the endless tagged pictures. What’s amusing is that the whole world would’ve gotten wedding updates before the bride and groom have had a chance to share their special moments. 

6. The Billie Jean

 

 

It’s completely okay if it was Michael Jackson’s ‘Billie Jean’, but unfortunately this would be your hyper active cousin or some uncle who couldn’t wait till the DJ turned up the music to show off his or her dance moves. The good thing is that whilst they do their weird dances, people will be entertained and it’ll be fun!  

Cartoons by Awantha Artigala